Last night I pulled my phone out of my pocket and it said, "Would you like to delete Mom Cell?" My eyes teared up and I asked my friend if it was weird that I couldn't do that yet, even though the phone number is no longer in service. Of course the answer is no. And just now, my Mom appeared online on my gmail account. I couldn't help but write to her. And I hoped so much that I would get a response back. Of course I didn't, but I just wish, more than anything, that I could have one more conversation with her. I wish she could tell me all the things that maybe she didn't tell me. And so that I could tell her all the things I never told her.
Maybe someday I'll feel like I can delete my Mom's cell phone number. Maybe I won't. Maybe right now I'm making a big deal out of something that doesn't really matter . . . who knows. I wish I could still talk to her. I wish things were different in so many ways. But, I can't change the circumstances, I can only figure out how to move on with life.
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