Sex, Society, and Outrage

So, there is a scandal at Penn State. . . Oh, you didn't know and made an inappropriate tweet about it? It's okay Ashton, we know you live under a rock and never use the Internet . . .

There is a large population of people who are outraged that Penn State Head Coach Joe Paterno was fired. And yet, I have heard little outrage over the fact that Mr. Paterno knew something was going on, reported it and then continued on as if there was nothing more for him to do. Riots in the street over a fired football coach, but NOT over a sexual abuse scandal? Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?

Our society has such an issue with sex, whether consensual or not, that we ignore the topic all together. What makes me so angry is that we have created a culture where we just don't talk about. You were raped? Well don't talk about, it might make others uncomfortable. You know, cause it wasn't uncomfortable for you have experienced that. You were molested as a child? Well in polite society we just pretend it didn't happen and hope you've healed on your own. We have movie stars comparing having their photo taken to being raped. We have children who refer to losing a game by a large score as getting raped. And yet, there is hardly any outcry from the hoi polloi about what talk like this implies.

I recently mentioned to a friend of mine that I was molested as a teenager. I have always been very open about this fact. She was appalled that I would talk about it like it was no big deal. I tried to explain to her that I don't talk about it because it is no big deal. I talk about it because too many people don't; and it IS a big deal. Society at large makes victims of abuse feel like they have to keep quiet about the things that have happened to them. Like somehow we should be ashamed of something that was done TO us. I didn't have control over the situation. If I had, it wouldn't have happened. (That's the "duh!" moment for those of you keeping track.) The bottom line is that what happened to me doesn't define me. In some ways it helped shape who I am today in that I think it's important to be open about such things. The very fact that abusers can manipulate their victims into staying quiet is a direct reflection that we don't talk about such things in "polite" society.

So, Penn State fans -- How about you riot in the streets over what happened within your beloved institution, rather than rioting because a coach (who was part of the problem, though perhaps not legally responsible) was let go amid a very SERIOUS scandal. Why not be outraged that the people who represented your cherished sport team have now tarnished its image. Just a thought.